Self-Publishing as an Adventure

I never quite know how to start one of these, and maybe that's why I so seldom wrote them for such a long time.  I mean, I've had this platform for over ten years, but to have so few posts.  In my defense, at one time I had more than three posts.  There were perhaps a dozen, maybe two dozen, but they were personal posts and there were so few followers that I ended up deleting them one day in a fit of "I don't need to add my voice to the Internet" angst.  The things I had to say never seemed all that important at the time, but maybe that was just a symptom of where my life was in those moments.  Things are different now.  Things are changing, hopefully for the better.

Self-publishing as a side-hustle was not how I saw myself growing up.  The 9-year-old who dreamed of becoming an author had hoped to have something published traditionally by now, but as a friend of mine wisely told me, "Maybe if you had become a famous author at 20, you'd be a washed-up sellout by now."  Words I had not considered, and so Mew, if you are reading this, thank you for your counsel.  It is deeply appreciated.

I have decided to use Kobo as my ebook retailer of choice which may surprise some people.

"Why not use Kindle or Apple Books?"

First, and most important, tax reasons.  Kobo may not have as much of the market as those companies, but both those retailers are American-based and as such I would have to remit sales taxes to the IRS which, as a Canadian, I don't want to pay.  

"But you can apply for an exemption."

True.  There is a tax treaty between Canada and the U.S. wherein I would be able to apply for an exemption to the tax withholding and I have looked into that.  I need to fill out a special form and supply proof of my identity to the IRS like a passport or a birth certificate.  The problem is, they will not accept photocopies.  Not even notarized copies.  "Originals Only."  There is no way in hell I am sending my personal, federally granted identity papers through the mail, Canadian or American mail.  No discussion.

Kobo was originally a Canadian company until it was bought by Rakuten, but the payment structure for authors, especially Canadian authors, is still the same.  Tax law is a little different in that Canadian sellers declare their own income meaning, I keep all the money I make (less whatever cut Kobo takes for its services) and I just have to be honest about my income during tax season.  Kobo pays me directly into my chequing account and that's it.  No hoops to jump through, other than acquiring an ISBN account and the requirement for providing copies of my published work to Library and Archives Canada via their Legal Deposit Program whose mandate it is to collect the published works of the country to build our heritage.

Self-publishing as a side-hustle.  The very concept is new to me and a little scary, but I would be just as apprehensive if I were attempting to sell my work to a traditional, bricks-and-mortar publisher.  Truth be told, nowadays you try to sell yourself to an agent who then works on your behalf to attract the attention of the big houses, but even so I would still be nervous.  I've never done anything like either of these before and at this moment self-publishing seems like a better way to ease myself into this world and collect some passive income as I build a portfolio that an agent might find appealing.  

Blogging, I'm told, is a way to do that and so here I am again--still not sure what to write about.  

How often should I post?  What kind of content should I post?  What if people don't read my posts?  What if all this is a waste of time that takes me away from the real work I should be doing--writing stories?  All valid questions, but the more research I do about self-publishing, the more often I see the same advice: "Authors need a web platform."  

On the topic of topics, I guess that I could post about two or maybe three major subject areas:

• My stories.  I don't want to give too much away about the stories, but there's probably room to talk about themes, inspiration, story updates, and writing process.
• My writing journey.  Maybe someday if all this will pay off for me and a young writer will find my blog and find solace for the lonely journey ahead of her.  If you're reading this, Young Writer, it is a lonely journey, full of self-doubt, setback, and failure, but also full of little victories such as the support of your family and friends, and 3rd Place finishes in local writing contests.  Hold onto those little gifts.  They will give you the motivation to keep working.
• My writing and reading interests.  What am I reading today?  Whose work am I inspired by?  What fascinates me in the world of noir, hard-boiled, crime fiction?  Maybe someone somewhere will find that stuff interesting.

I could write a dozen stories, but if no one reads them then what would all that work amount to?  

The idea of building a platform and "brand" is foreign to me and, if I'm honest, a bit antithetical to my self-image.  

I laughed at myself a little even as I wrote that.  I have always wanted to be a writer and if that dream were to come true via the traditional route, I would still have a brand and a platform, but it would be someone else managing it.  I could write a dozen stories, but if no one read them then what would all that work amount to?  Why put in the hours alone toiling over a notebook and this laptop matter if no one reads the words?  I guess the bigger question is "Why am I writing?"  What is my real goal?  Money?  Sure, getting paid for the work I do is nice, but there is something more.  Stories offer escape, they give comfort, they coach and instruct.  I'm not sure my little stories will do much more than entertain, but even if that were the only goal then they need a way to make the people aware of their existence...and so I need to swallow my false pride and build a platform and a brand.

So I guess the platform might consist of the following:

• Instagram and Twitter accounts.  Learning to use social media to build a small community might be a good way to start attracting attention to my platform and ultimately my books.  Using the right hashtags can make my posts more discoverable and if people like what they see they can dig a little deeper and maybe discover my stories.
• Business cards.  This is a little guerilla advertising idea I had.  Maybe it's not original but I think it might work.  Imagine you go to a bar, sit down at a newly vacated stool, look down and find a business card left behind by the previous patron.  On the front is a black and white side-profile picture of a handsome man in a dark suit.  Something off in the distance has caught his attention.  Floating next to his head is the question: "Who is Walter Burback?"  Interesting, you think.  You pick up the card and flip it over.  The back is red with the answer: "Find out at Kobo.com".  Then you notice a name: "Kevin M. Coleman, Author" followed by social media accounts.  Some people might be intrigued enough to keep the card and look up the site and the social media accounts.  Other people might toss the card or even just ignore it which is fine.  Someone will see it.  I think the best outcome would be for a new reader to pass the card on to a friend or family member who might like the same stories.
• A Wattpad account.  Wattpad is a platform for independent authors to showcase their work for free.  It has a big readership and I could use the space to post samples of the stories to whet readers' appetites and, if they liked what I wrote, they could commit to buying the full book from the Kobo site.  I could also put links to my Instagram, Twitter and Good Reads pages.
• A GoodReads.com author page.  I've signed up for this program because I hear that their "little website" has quite a large following and it might be helpful in gaining exposure to my stories.
• This blog.  The reasons are self-evident. :)

The Way Back Home

Back in early March of 2020, Adam, one of my best friends, pointed me in the direction of the Capital Crime Writers website, an Ottawa-based group for writers of mystery, thriller, and crime fiction, on which he found a writing contest, the Audrey Jessup Award.

"You should do this," he said.  For many years Adam has known of my interest in writing and, for many years, has patiently chided me to be more productive.  I don't know how he came across this site or the contest, but that he put it in my path and said "Do this, you fool." spoke volumes to me of his perennial faith in whatever talent I may possess.

And so I wrote.  

Backing up, first I pondered.  The contest's sole criteria, aside from the story weighing in at no more than 3500 words, was "write about a crime".  Okay...write about a crime.  Sounds easy, right?  I tinkered and sputtered in the noir/mystery genre for about two or three years now with little success, but I was (at first) confident that I could come up with something.

Until I couldn't.  My mind went to the same place many beginning writers' minds go to and that is: "I'm no criminal.  How do I write about something I don't know anything about?"  But I wanted to enter the contest, in part to win the $200 prize, but mostly to prove to myself that I could write a story that others found worthy and to reach that goal I needed an idea.  It took about a day and a half to unearth the lump of ore that I smelted and refined and beat and tempered into "Confidential Donation".  

Where am I going with this?  To be honest, I'm not that sure.  I came into this article with no real plan other than to put up some content on a blog I've largely ignored for the better part of its existence but isn't that reflective of how I've treated my writing "career" all these years?

I guess what I'm getting at is that Adam's latest nudge, which sprouted into an idea and grew into a short story which won 3rd place in the 2020 edition of the Audrey Jessup Award contest, has shown me that writing, if I believe it is who I am, then it should be who I am.

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

-- Epictetus

All these many years I have done myself a disservice by not pursuing the thing that engaged me, the thing that made me feel I was in this life to pursue.  Writing "Confidential Donation" was hard work and there were moments I wanted to give up, but I stuck to it and finished the work.  The feeling of true accomplishment, of putting the final period on the last sentence of a piece of work that complete strangers found to be worthy, is a feeling I haven't experienced in many, many years.  

Which brings me round to the question, why didn't I pursue it?  Why didn't I make writing stories the thing that defines me?  These aren't rhetorical questions.  I'm asking myself, "Why did you waste all this time?  You're almost fifty.  If you live to be 80, the half-way marker is well back in the distance."  

Epictetus said, "First, say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."  Often doing what you have to do comes into conflict with doing what you want to do--eat chips and watch Netflix; drink beer and relax with friends; go for a drive in the country--and if the latter wins out, the person you might have been recedes further and further into the distance.  I have remarked to a few close friends that I sometimes feel a dissonance between the life I have and the life I wanted.  The real "me" exists in some other universe where along the road he made all the right choices while I took the worn path and ended up here.

While writing "Confidential Donation" I felt myself turn, if ever so slightly, and take my first halting steps back toward that real "me".  

I know my way now.  All I have to do is walk, one foot in front of the other, a little every day, in the direction of home, and when I reach a crossroads ask myself the simple question: "Will this decision bring me closer to the man I want to be?"  In this way, through consistency of application, I can do something every day that makes me feel like the person I wanted to be all along, even if only for a little while, until finally I am that person, until finally I meet myself on the road back home.